Wednesday, 8 June 2016

Hodor. Hodor. Hodor!!!

Game of Thrones
Season Six
Episode Five
The Door

After receiving a raven bearing his sigil, Sansa Stark, accompanied by Brienne of Tarth, meets secretly with Petyr Baelish. Littlefinger is surprised to see Brienne and relieved that Sansa is unharmed but Sansa quickly corrects his assessment of her.

Sansa tells Petyr of the horrific abuse and violence she suffered at the hands of Ramsay Bolton and dismisses his offer of aiding her with the forces of the Vale. Sansa vows to take back the North from Ramsay with her own army but Littlefinger reminds her that the Wildings follow Jon Snow, not her and informs her that Brynden ‘Blackfish’ Tully has retaken Riverrun.

At Castle Black, Jon Snow seeks advice on who will join the Stark/Snow army and Davos Seaworth has concerns about Jon’s appeal but Sansa is confident that her trueborn status will bolster their cause. Sansa then shares the news that Littlefinger gave her but not his name as her source.

Once back in her chambers, Sansa orders Brienne to go to Riverrun and enlist the Blackfish to their cause. Brienne, hesitant to leave her behind, also questions why Sansa withheld naming Littlefinger as her source.

As Jon readies to leave Castle Black, Sansa gives him a handmaid cloak bearing the Stark sigil, modelled on the one their father Ned Stark used to wear.

The group which consists of Tormund and Brienne as well then departs for their journey, while Eddison Tollett in his first act as Lord Commander, remains in the courtyard and orders the gate closed behind them.

In Braavos at the House of Black and White, the Waif continues to train Arya and mocks her high-born origins. Jaqen H’ghar explains that the Faceless Men were slaves in Valyria before founding the free city of Braavos and the House of Black and White.

Handing Arya a vial, Jaqen tells her that an actress, Lady Crane, is the next to receive the ‘gift’ from the Many Faced God.

Arya enjoys the spectacle of a play about the War of the Five Kings, with actors outrageously playing Lannisters and Baratheons to comical effect but her mirth ceases when her fathers execution is portrayed in the same manner.

Arya then sneaks into the dressing room and observes that Lady Crane, the actress playing Cersei Lannister, is actually a clever and decent woman.

Arya later shares her plan with Jaqen to poison Crane’s rum and suspects that a younger, jealous actress called Bianca has arranged for the murder. Jaqen cuts her off and reminds her that a servant does not question.

Thousands of years in the past, in a lush green forest clearing, Bran Stark and the Three Eyed Raven observe the Children of the Forest huddled in front of a weirwood tree with a man tied to it. Leaf, suddenly inserts a shard of dragonglass into the man’s chest and his eyes turn ice blue.

It was the Children of the Forest that created the Night’s King and the White Walkers.
Pulled back from the vision back into the cave, Bran demands to know why they made the White Walkers and Leaf tells him that they needed to defend themselves, from men.

In the Iron Islands, Yara Greyjoy is met with scepticism and derision until Theon throws his support behind her and declares her the rightful ruler. The cheers of her supporters are suddenly silenced by the appearance of Euron Greyjoy who steps forward to lay his own claim to the Salt Throne.

Immediately accused of Balon’s murder, Euron only apologizes for not having done it sooner and proposes the rebuilding of the enormous Iron Fleet which he will deliver to Daenerys Targaryen in exchange for her hand in marriage. Together, they will destroy the Lords of Westeros and rule over the Seven Kingdoms, not just the Iron Islands. With this said, he is chosen as the new King.

In accordance with tradition, the priest Aeron Greyoy drowns Euron and then when he revives, places a driftwood crown on his head. Euron then rallies his supporters to kill Yara and Theon but discovers they have stolen his best ships and sailed away.

The new king orders his subjects to begin building anew.

With Daario present, Daenerys decides what to do with Jorah and acknowledges that despite his past transgression that he has always been completely loyal to her, saving her many times.

Revealing his rapidly spreading greyscale, Jorah finally confesses his love to her and makes ready to leave.

To both his surprise and Daario’s, Daenerys suddenly gives Jorah one command: to find a cure and return to her side.

In the cave, Bran grabs the weirwood and returns to the location where the first White Walker was born and finds it an icy, barren wasteland. He then sees an Army of the Dead and walks amongst the wights until the Night’s King, on a horse, looks directly at him. Frozen in fear, Bran realizes that the entire army is now looking at him as well and the Night’s King suddenly grabs his forearm.

Screaming, Bran awakens in the cave and the Three Eyed Raven tells them that they all must leave because by touching Bran, the magical protection of the cave has been broken. But first, Bran must become the Three Eyed Raven himself.

While the Three Eyed Raven transfers his knowledge to Bran, Meera Reed suddenly notices that the cave has suddenly become rather chilly and rushes to the entrance to find the Army of the Dead gathered outside. The Children of the Forest try to hold them off as she rushes back into the cave.

Bran is trapped in a vision of his own father Ned saying goodbye to his Rickard Stark and cannot be awakened. Meera yells for a panicked Hodor to help her get Bran on to a sledge and Bran, hearing her in the vision, wargs into him.

Chased by wights from all sides of the cave, Hodor bravely pulls Bran through the tunnels along with Meera. Bran’s direwolf, Summer, bravely attempts to aid in their escape but is killed and then Leaf sacrifices herself so that they can escape out of a hidden back door.

Inside the cave, The Night’s King approaches the Three Eyed Raven with his blade and turns to ash in Bran’s vision as his body is destroyed. Bran suddenly sees Wylis looking directly at him before falling to the floor, eyes rolled back.

Finally outside the cave, Meera now pulls the sledge into a blizzard while yelling at Hodor to ‘Hold the door’ against the Army of the Dead. As he does so, his past self, linked to him through Bran’s powers, begins yelling Meera’s command.

The dead grasp and tare at Hodor but he refuses to let through, bravely sacrificing himself to save his companions.

Back in the past, Bran watches as convulsing young Wylis fuse ‘Hold the door’ into one word.

Hodor.


Review:
Both epicness and sadness combined as one long standing character finally fulfilled their destiny and revealed the meaning of the only word they ever spoken. 


Monday, 30 May 2016

Oafbreaker

Game of Thrones
Season six
Episode three
Oathbreaker

At Castle Black, Davos Seaworth is present when Jon Snow comes back to life in the Lord Commander’s chambers. An extremely shocked Jon touches his stab wounds and says that he shouldn’t be there. An astonished Melisandre asks Jon what he saw after he died and he tells her that there was nothing, just nothing.

Davos asks Melisandre to leave them and comforts Jon, who brings up his failures and questions why he was brought back in the first place. Davos advises Jon to face his mistakes and Jon goes outside to the Wildings and Night’s Watch assembled in the courtyard.

The assembled crowd looks on, unsure what to make of the recently resurrected Lord Commander. Jon’s discomfort with the whole situation only goes away slightly after being embraced by the always loyal Tormund and Edd.

On a ship bound for Oldtown are Gilly, Samwell Tarly and baby Sam. Sam is wracked with terrible seasickness and confesses to Gilly his plans for her and her infant son. The Citadel where he is headed, does not allow women and children, so he is taking her to his family in Horn Hill and claiming Gilly is his mistress and Sam his bastard son.

Gilly is naturally upset at first but softens when Sam tells her how much he cares for her and her son and names him as the true father of her baby, agreeing to go.

Bran Stark and the Three Eyed Raven journey to the past again, this time to an older yet still young Ned Stark as he approaches the Tower of Joy with his men. Bran immediately recognises Ser Arthur Dayne, Sword of the Morning and his father’s hero.

Bran is shocked to see that Ned’s legendary defeat of Dayne revealed as a lie and that Howland Reed had stabbed Arthur Dayne in the neck after Ned had been beaten. After, Bran suddenly calls out to his Father and Ned looks around in confusion.

The Three Eyed Raven suddenly pulls Bran back into the present and the boy furiously demands answers as he had always told him that his powers could not effect the past but he has now seen that they can.

The Three Eyed Raven counters this by telling Bran that he won’t be in the cave forever like him but that before he goes, he must know everything.

Daenerys Targaryen arrives at Vaes Dothrak and is immediately brought before the Dosh Khaleen who strip her of her own clothing and give her more appropriate Dothraki attire.

An elder priestess, well aware of the life Daenerys envisioned with Khal Drogo, questions why she didn’t come to them directly after his death.

Daenerys angrily states that she doesn’t belong there with them and is surprised to learn that all the assembled Khals will decide whether she joins the Dosh Khaleen or suffers a fate worse then death at their hands.

In Meereen, Varys has a prostitute named Valla brought to him and knows that she has helped the Sons of the Harpy murder both Unsullied and Second Sons. Knowing all about her life and her ill son, he offers an extremely large bag of silver and passage on a ship to Pentos, in exchange of information.

Left alone with Missandei and Grey Worm to await the outcome of this event, Tyrion tries and fails to socialize with them. After an awkward conversation, Varys interrupts them and explains that he now knows that the former masters of Yunkai, Astapor, with the help of Volantis are funding the Sons of the Harpy.

Not willing to commit to an all out war, Tyrion instead asks Varys to send a message.

In Kings Landing, in his laboratory, Qyburn treats and hands out sweets to the children who were Varys Little Birds, winning their favour, making them his birds now. Cersei Lannister then arrives accompanied by her brother Jaime Lannister and Robert Strong as the children leave.

Cersei tells them that Robert Strong will be her champion when the time comes for her to request a trial by combat and then asks Qyburn to place his new Little Birds everywhere so that she hears every whisper about her family.

Afterwards, Jaime and Cersei, escorted by Robert Strong, interrupt a Small Council meeting. Only to find Olenna Redwyne, Maester Pycelle, Mace Tyrell and their uncle Kevan Lannister have no interest in including them in public affairs.

While their uncle agrees that they cannot make them leave, they cannot make him and the other Small Council members stay. Kevan makes his point by leaving, followed by the others.

King Tommen finally enters the Sept demanding that the High Sparrow allow his Mother to visit Myrcella’s final resting place. The High Sparrow refuses, listing Cersei’s many sins as the reason for doing so before lecturing the young king on goodness and virtue.

Inside the House of Black and White, Arya Stark continues her training with the Waif, who interrogates her and beats as her mercilessly as before. Arya gives her list of names and then confesses that she removed the Hound off her list before leaving him to die. Certain she has left off a name the Waif takes a swing and is dismayed when Arya blocks it and finally defeats her.

Pleased, Jaqen H’ghar asks Arya to tell him her name, only for her to say that she has no name in response. He leads her to the poisoned fountain and hands her a cup. Unsure at first, she then drinks and finds her sight restored again.

Jaqen asks for her name again and she replies, finally truly believing it, that she is no one.

At Winterfell, Ramsay Bolton and Harald Karstark meet with Smalljon Umber. Smalljon tells them of his concerns with the huge number of Wildings Jon Snow let through the wall and asks for help if they come further south.

Unwilling to kneel or pledge allegiance to Ramsay, Smalljon instead offers him a gift. Suddenly, Osha and Rickon Stark are brought in with Shaggydog’s head as proof of their identify. Ramsay smiles and welcomes the boy home to Winterfell.

In the courtyard at Castle Black, Alliser Thorne and his fellow mutineers stand on gallows awaiting execution. A clearly reluctant Jon Snow asks if the men have any last words but Thorne tells him that he regrets nothing and Olly just silently and openly glares hatefully at him.

Jon pauses only for a moment before drawing Longclaw and cutting a rope that hangs all mutineers in unison. He then stares into the faces of his killers before handing his cloak to Edd and naming him Lord Commander.

As an astonished crowd watches, Jon Snow then walks out of the courtyard and leaves the Night’s Watch behind.

Review:

Another fantastic episode! Apart from Meereen related unnecessary awkwardness. Oh my… This is certainly setting up epic things to come isn’t it? My only complaint is that we needed more Arthur Dayne! And lots more Tower of Joy!

I need my own Sword of the Morning. Now.


Fake Westeros thoughts:

Loved: Tower of Joy (and the show's way of handling flashbacks), Tommen being desperately in search of a mentor, Arya's SL finally progressing beyond street fighter.

Hated: I can't stand Tyrion the smartass anymore. Can't.

I come to drink wine and be entertained. Winning on both fronts this season.

Tower of Joy lived up to the hype. I am still others over it. I am going to resurrect Ser Arthur Dayne, convince him to give up his Kingsguard vows, and take me as his wife.

Not quite as action packed as the last episode however totally worth it to see Jon ‘ avenged’.
Spent about ten minutes screaming at the screen when the damned Raven cut short the scene we’ve all been waiting for.
Also screamed at my being tossed into the old biddy bingo club.

Last thought: ARTHUR DAYNE. Love!!!


TARTHBANE? TARTHBAE!!!

GAME OF THRONES
SEASON SIX
EPISODE FOUR:
BOOK OF THE STRANGER


At Castle Black, Jon Snow packs his possessions. Eddison Tollett, now Commander of the Night’s Watch at Jon’s bidding, tries to convince him to stay, referring to what happened at Hardhome. A despondent Jon insists that with his death he has fulfilled his oath to the Night’s Watch and will soon be ready to leave. For good.

A horn sounds once bringing Jon and Edd outside into the courtyard. The gates open to reveal that Sansa Stark, Brienne of Tarth and Podrick Payne have completed their journey and arrived at their destination.

Filthy and worn out from the journey, Sansa looks around the courtyard for her half-brother Jon. , The two stunned siblings spot and approach one another, hugging joyfully.

Once Sansa and her travelling party are clean, warm and having dinner in the safety of Castle Black, Sansa apologizes to Jon for being badly behaved to him as a child. The two agree to stay together and look after for one another.

Sansa then tells Jon that as the last surviving Stark’s they must take Winterfell back from the Boltons. He protests that he is done with fighting but she insists that she will take it back by herself if she has to.

Outside, Davos asks Melisandre if she plans to stay at Castle Black. Melisandre tells him that she will do as Jon Snow commands her to but lowered her eyes in shame when he presses her to tell him what happened to Shireen and Stannis. Brienne interupts them and surprises them with her revelation of justly killing Stannis herself.

Silently eating with Sansa, Jon and Edd, Tormund is unable to take his eyes off Brienne who looks at him with surprise at such attention. A letter suddenly arrives from Ramsay Bolton, taunting Jon with Rickon’s imprisonment in Winterfell, threats of raping Sansa and acts of unspeakable violence against Jon himself. 

Ramsay’s final taunt is declaring himself as Lord of Winterfell and Sansa realising that Roose Bolton is dead, again urges Jon to take up arms and reclaim the North with an army of Wildings behind him.

In the Vale, Littlefinger arrives with a gift for Robin Arryn and enraged by the sudden mention of his betraying Sansa Stark, Robin’s guardian Lord Royce protests his innocence. Looking to his ward to defend his innocence, Royce is surprised to find that Robin sides with Littlefinger and after mention of the Moon Door, proclaims his faithfulness to House Arryn.

Littlefinger manipulates Robin into forgiving Lord Royce and pledging to help Sansa Stark escape Ramsay’s clutches.

Back in Kings Landing, the High Sparrow has Margaery Tyrell brought to him and tells her of his own humble origins: He was a cobbler who worked for nothing but luxury and then walked away when he realized that all the finery he had achieved meant nothing to him.

Margaery then shares what she has learned of the Seven Pointed Star and impressed by her knowledge, the High Sparrow allows her to finally visit her brother Loras.

To her surprise and horror, her brother is almost broken in spirit and Margaery urges him to stay strong but a defeated Loras just tells her to let them win.

At the Red Keep, Cersei Lannister is surprised to find Maester Pycelle attempting to mentor her son and King, Tommen Baratheon. Cersei angrily dismisses Pycelle from her sight and is surprised to learn that her son has been secretly meeting with the High Sparrow.

Tommen is reluctant to share what he has learned with his Mother but she urges him, telling him that he can always trust her.

Jaime Lannister and Cersei interupt the Small Council and reveal that a Walk of Shame has been planned for Margaery, immediately bringing Olenna Redwyne over to their side and Kevan Lannister, Hand of the King, finally agreeing to hear them out.

Jaime suggests that the Tyrell forces take Margaery back into royal custody while the Royal forces stand aside and do not interfere.

Finding Kevan wavering in her favour, Cersei mentions that this might be the only way to save his son Lancel and he points out that these actions could bring about civil war. A determined Olenna acknowledges that civil war is a price worth paying.

Theon Greyjoy travels home to the Iron Islands and enters Pyke’s hall, unable to look his sister Yara Greyjoy in the eye after his previous betrayal.

Demanding that he look at her, Yara soundly berates her brother for the men she lost trying to save him accuses him of coming home only to claim the Salt Throne after Balon’s death. Theon tells her that he only just heard the news of their fathers death and that she alone should rule the Iron Islands, with his help.

At Winterfell, Ramsay Bolton is in his private chambers as Osha is brought in and then left alone with him. Her lack of fear of him gains his interest and claiming no affection for Rickon, Osha attempts to seduce Ramsay.

During, Osha spots a pairing knife and attempts to grab for it, realising too late that Theon had told Ramsay everything about her helping the Stark boys to escape but she unfortunately isn’t fast enough.

Ramsay shoves a dagger into her neck and resumes a snack as Osha bleeds out onto the floor at his feet.

In Meereen, Tyrion invites three envoys who serve the Masters to broker a deal: The Masters will have seven years to abolish slavery and be more then well compensated for their losses. To Missandei’s unhidden disapproval Tyrion leaves the men to think over the deal with whores to pleasure them into submission.

A group of angry freedmen confront Tyrion angry that their enemies have freely entered the city, causing Missandei and Grey Worm to somewhat unwillingly defend his actions. Afterwards both warn him that the Masters can never, ever, be trusted.

On a cliff, overlooking Vaes Dothrak, a jealous Daario Naharis teases Jorah Mormont about his having bedded Daenerys Targaryen on multiple occasions and wearing himself out in the process, telling Jorah he would not have the stamina for her.

Jorah does not rise to the baiting and removes his weapons to follow the rules of Vaes Dothrak, Daario follows suit but then notices Jorah’s greyscale, opting to hide his weapons himself instead.

At night, Jorah and Daario sneak into the city but are soon spotted by a few Dothraki men. Daario fights and snaps the next of one, while Jorah is knocked down and beaten by the other. Daario stabs the other Dothraki from behind with a hidden dagger and then crushes his head with a rock to avoid suspicion.

Inside the temple of the Dosh Khaleen, Daenerys Targaryen is introduced to the other wives of dead Khals. As they share what happened to them and knowledge of the gathered Khal’s deciding her fate, Dany makes an excuse to go outside, taking a young priestess with her.

Suddenly, Daario emerges from the shadows and grabs the priestess, holding a dagger to her throat but Dany commands him not to kill her. The ever loyal Jorah is also present and Dany says that she needs both his and Daario’s help.

The next evening, Daenerys faces the Khals alone. They berate and attempt to humiliate her with threats but she bravely stands up to them, berating them right back. Suddenly, she claims that she will be a better leader then all the assembled leaders before and an enraged Khal Moro threatens her with endless rape and finally death.

Daenerys does not react at all to these threats, calmly pushes over lit brazier after lit brazier, settling the temple ablaze and watches as the terrified Khals all burn to death in the flames.

Finally emerging from the raging flames triumphant, naked and unburnt, Daenerys, now leader of the most massive Dothraki army ever assembled, looks on as every khalasar, Dosh Khaleen, an astonished Daario and adoring Jorah all bow before their new leader.

The Unburnt Khaleesi.


Review:
Another fantastic episode! Apart from more Meereen related unnecessary awkwardness. Oh my… This is certainly setting up even more epic things to come!

Keep watching!

Also #TARTHBANE! And that hug… Aww…

Fake Westeros Thoughts:

TARTHBANE. The hug that was promised.

I basically imploded over Tarthbane.



Tuesday, 10 May 2016

The RICKONING

Game of Thrones
Season six
Episode three
Oathbreaker


At Castle Black, Davos Seaworth is present when Jon Snow comes back to life in the Lord Commander’s chambers. An extremely shocked Jon touches his stab wounds and says that he shouldn’t be there. An astonished Melisandre asks Jon what he saw after he died and he tells her that there was nothing, just nothing.

Davos asks Melisandre to leave them and comforts Jon, who brings up his failures and questions why he was brought back in the first place. Davos advises Jon to face his mistakes and Jon goes outside to the Wildings and Night’s Watch assembled in the courtyard.

The assembled crowd looks on, unsure what to make of the recently resurrected Lord Commander. Jon’s discomfort with the whole situation only goes away slightly after being embraced by the always loyal Tormund and Edd.

On a ship bound for Oldtown are Gilly, Samwell Tarly and baby Sam. Sam is wracked with terrible seasickness and confesses to Gilly his plans for her and her infant son. The Citadel where he is headed, does not allow women and children, so he is taking her to his family in Horn Hill and claiming Gilly is his mistress and Sam his bastard son.

Gilly is naturally upset at first but softens when Sam tells her how much he cares for her and her son and names him as the true father of her baby, agreeing to go.

Bran Stark and the Three Eyed Raven journey to the past again, this time to an older yet still young Ned Stark as he approaches the Tower of Joy with his men. Bran immediately recognises Ser Arthur Dayne, Sword of the Morning and his father’s hero.

Bran is shocked to see that Ned’s legendary defeat of Dayne revealed as a lie and that Howland Reed had stabbed Arthur Dayne in the neck after Ned had been beaten. After, Bran suddenly calls out to his Father and Ned looks around in confusion.

The Three Eyed Raven suddenly pulls Bran back into the present and the boy furiously demands answers as he had always told him that his powers could not effect the past but he has now seen that they can.

The Three Eyed Raven counters this by telling Bran that he won’t be in the cave forever like him but that before he goes, he must know everything.

Daenerys Targaryen arrives at Vaes Dothrak and is immediately brought before the Dosh Khaleen who strip her of her own clothing and give her more appropriate Dothraki attire.

An elder priestess, well aware of the life Daenerys envisioned with Khal Drogo, questions why she didn’t come to them directly after his death.

Daenerys angrily states that she doesn’t belong there with them and is surprised to learn that all the assembled Khals will decide whether she joins the Dosh Khaleen or suffers a fate worse then death at their hands.

In Meereen, Varys has a prostitute named Valla brought to him and knows that she has helped the Sons of the Harpy murder both Unsullied and Second Sons. Knowing all about her life and her ill son, he offers an extremely large bag of silver and passage on a ship to Pentos, in exchange of information.

Left alone with Missandei and Grey Worm to await the outcome of this event, Tyrion tries and fails to socialize with them. After an awkward conversation, Varys interrupts them and explains that he now knows that the former masters of Yunkai, Astapor, with the help of Volantis are funding the Sons of the Harpy.

Not willing to commit to an all out war, Tyrion instead asks Varys to send a message.

In Kings Landing, in his laboratory, Qyburn treats and hands out sweets to the children who were Varys Little Birds, winning their favour, making them his birds now. Cersei Lannister then arrives accompanied by her brother Jaime Lannister and Robert Strong as the children leave.

Cersei tells them that Robert Strong will be her champion when the time comes for her to request a trial by combat and then asks Qyburn to place his new Little Birds everywhere so that she hears every whisper about her family.

Afterwards, Jaime and Cersei, escorted by Robert Strong, interrupt a Small Council meeting. Only to find Olenna Redwyne, Maester Pycelle, Mace Tyrell and their uncle Kevan Lannister have no interest in including them in public affairs.

While their uncle agrees that they cannot make them leave, they cannot make him and the other Small Council members stay. Kevan makes his point by leaving, followed by the others.

King Tommen finally enters the Sept demanding that the High Sparrow allow his Mother to visit Myrcella’s final resting place. The High Sparrow refuses, listing Cersei’s many sins as the reason for doing so before lecturing the young king on goodness and virtue.

Inside the House of Black and White, Arya Stark continues her training with the Waif, who interrogates her and beats as her mercilessly as before. Arya gives her list of names and then confesses that she removed the Hound off her list before leaving him to die. Certain she has left off a name the Waif takes a swing and is dismayed when Arya blocks it and finally defeats her.

Pleased, Jaqen H’ghar asks Arya to tell him her name, only for her to say that she has no name in response. He leads her to the poisoned fountain and hands her a cup. Unsure at first, she then drinks and finds her sight restored again.

Jaqen asks for her name again and she replies, finally truly believing it, that she is no one.

At Winterfell, Ramsay Bolton and Harald Karstark meet with Smalljon Umber. Smalljon tells them of his concerns with the huge number of Wildings Jon Snow let through the wall and asks for help if they come further south.

Unwilling to kneel or pledge allegiance to Ramsay, Smalljon instead offers him a gift. Suddenly, Osha and Rickon Stark are brought in with Shaggydog’s head as proof of their identify. Ramsay smiles and welcomes the boy home to Winterfell.

In the courtyard at Castle Black, Alliser Thorne and his fellow mutineers stand on gallows awaiting execution. A clearly reluctant Jon Snow asks if the men have any last words but Thorne tells him that he regrets nothing and Olly just silently and openly glares hatefully at him.

Jon pauses only for a moment before drawing Longclaw and cutting a rope that hangs all mutineers in unison. He then stares into the faces of his killers before handing his cloak to Edd and naming him Lord Commander.
As an astonished crowd watches, Jon Snow then walks out of Castle Black and leaves the Night’s Watch behind.

Review:

Another fantastic episode! Apart from Meereen related unnecessary awkwardness. Oh my… This is certainly setting up epic things to come isn’t it? My only complaint is that we needed more Arthur Dayne! And lots more Tower of Joy!

I need my own Sword of the Morning. Now.


Fake Westeros thoughts:

Loved: Tower of Joy (and the show's way of handling flashbacks), Tommen being desperately in search of a mentor, Arya's SL finally progressing beyond street fighter.

Hated: I can't stand Tyrion the smartass anymore. Can't.

I come to drink wine and be entertained. Winning on both fronts this season.

Tower of Joy lived up to the hype. I am still others over it. I am going to resurrect Ser Arthur Dayne, convince him to give up his Kingsguard vows, and take me as his wife.

Not quite as action packed as the last episode however totally worth it to see Jon ‘ avenged’.
Spent about ten minutes screaming at the screen when the damned Raven cut short the scene we’ve all been waiting for.
Also screamed at my being tossed into the old biddy bingo club.

Last thought: ARTHUR DAYNE. Love!!!







Saturday, 7 May 2016

MELISANDRE STRIKES BACK

Game of thrones
season six
episode two
home


The Three Eyed Raven accompanies Bran Stark into a vision of a past Winterfell, at Summer. No longer crippled, Bran watches his father, a twelve year old Ned Stark and his seven year old brother Benjen train with wooden swords. A young and spirited Lyanna Stark then rides in on horseback and gives the reins to a young stable boy named Wylis, who Bran instantly recognises as his faithful companion Hodor, who can talk. The Three Eyed Raven pulls Bran from the vision and warns him that his 'great gift' could consume him.

Outside the cave, Bran warns Meera Reed, that its not safe in the open but she stays where she is, refusing to move. Leaf, a Child of the Forest, tells Meera that Bran won't be training forever and that he will need her help when he goes.

At a tavern in Kings Landing, a peasant lewdly describes his part in Cersei's walk of atonement to a laughing and jeering crowd. Later, when he steps outside to relieve himself, Robert Strong crushes his skull against a wall.

Cersei, in mourning clothes, heads for the Sept accompanied by Robert Strong, only to find her way barred by Lannister guards. They tell her that King Tommen has confined her to the Red Keep for her own safety and bars her from attending Myrcella's funeral. Cersei and Robert face off tensely with the soldiers but then she suddenly relents, taking her Kingsguard with her as she returns to her quarters.

Tommen and Jaime Lannister stand over Myrcella's body and discuss the hurt for Trystane's killers. Tommen believes that Cersei is responsible but has kept her from the funeral for another reason, the Faith Militant won't allow her into the Sept. Jaime comforts the young king and urges him to reconcile with his Mother.

As Tommen leaves, the High Sparrow enters and Jaime confronts him. Telling him he has no qualms about killing him right then and there in the Sept. The Faith Militant suddenly surround them on all sides and Jaime restraints himself from murdering the High Sparrow.

Tommen finally visits his mother and apologises for keeping her from the funeral. He then admits that he feels ashamed at not being able to help her or Margaery and that he wants to be how she raised him, strong. Cersei embraces her last living child.


In Braavos, Arya Stark is still begging in the streets when the Waif appears to give her another lesson. Beaten again, Arya suddenly hears Jaqen H'ghar ask her who she is, she tells him over and over again that she is no one, even when offered her sight back.

Still blind, but having passed his test, Arya follows the Faceless Man back to the House of Black and White.

With no information about who burned the Meereenese fleet, Tyrion drinks and asks Varys for further news, only to have Varys tell him that Astapor and Yunkai have retaken their cities. Inquiring after Daenerys dragons instead, Tyrion discovers that Viserion and Rhaegal have stopped eating since she left them and decides to unchain him himself.

In the dragons keep, Tyrion recounts his fascination with dragons as a boy to pacify the dragons and stop them from eating him. He slowly releases and removes the collar from Rhaegal and is surprised when Viserion turns his head towards him, asking for the same. Frightened, Tyrion removes the second dragons collar and tells off Varys for letting him do so.

At Winterfell, Lord Harald Karstark informs Roose and Ramsay Bolton that the soldiers tracking Sansa Stark and Theon Greyjoy have been found dead. Assuming she is headed north to Castle Black and the protection of her half-brother Jon Snow, Ramsay suggests storming the stronghold only to be chastised by Roose.

Maester Wolkan suddenly interrupts with the news that Walda Frey has given birth to a baby boy, prompting surprised congratulations from Ramsay. Father and son embrace, only for Ramsay to plunge a dagger into Roose's heart, killing him.

Ramsay immediately assumes the title of Lord Bolton and has Wolkan bring Walda and his newborn little brother to him in the courtyard. Holding his brother once before handing him back to Walda, he leads them straight into the kennels, where his hounds await them.

As Ramsay begins opening their cages, Walda begs for her and her child to be allowed to return to the safety of the Riverlands. Unmoved, Ramsay whistles for his dogs to attack and surprisingly looks away as his baby brother and a screaming Walda are torn to pieces.

Making their way north through the woods, Brienne tells Sansa of her encounter with Arya but leaves out all mention of her fight with the Hound, Sandor Clegane. Theon, knowing that he can never make amends for betraying the Starks, tells Sansa he can no longer go with her to Castle Black, makes his farewells and leaves for home.

In the Iron Islands, Yara Greyjoy challenges her father Balon to make peace there. Afterwards, on a rope bridge going to another tower, Balon unexpectedly encounters his younger brother Euron who tells him that he has come to claim the Salt Throne. The elder brother taunts the younger for going mad at sea and cutting out his men's tongues.

Balon then pulls out a dagger and dives at Euron but the younger man easily and quickly tosses the king off the bridge to his death.

At Balon's funeral, Yara and her Uncle Aeron oversee the proper funeral rites and as the body floats out to the sea, she vows upon the Salt Throne to avenge his death. Aeron reminds his niece that she must voted on to the throne via a kingsmoot.

As the Nights Watch loyal to Thorne break into the Lord Commanders quarters, a loud noise is heard from the main gate and Edd, Wun Wun, Tormund and other Wildings break in, roundly defeating those who murdered Jon Snow.

Thorne attempts to rally his defeated supporters but to no avail, Edd then orders them all locked up and Tormund goes to see Jon's body then leaves to find wood for a pyre.

Davos goes to see Melisandre, only to find her completely disheartened and crying in her chamber. When he asks her to use her power and attempt to revive Jon Snow, she doubts her own abilities to do so but is convinced by Davos to at least try.

Melisandre bathes Jon's body, chants and prays over him with Tormund, Edd and Davos watching but defeated she gives up and they all leave.

A sleeping Ghost suddenly awakes and licks one of Jon's hands. A shocked Jon unexpectedly opens his eyes and breathes.

Review:
Oh my god. This second episode continues the epicness the first started, high drama with an extremely satisfying climax and some epic future plots too. Praise all round to everyone involved. Everyone.

Some #FakeWesteros Thoughts:

Home: I'm still not okay with that Winterfell flashback. I'm too invested in dead Starks. Euron is BAMF. Wall would have been more "whoa" if the fact that wildlings would save the day and Jon would come back hadn't been so self evident.

Home had me strongly excited about the Greyjoys, not that that's hard. And it made me excited about Jon, which IS hard.

*loves because bought baby back*


Thoughts on Home: endless key smashing and flailing.

Sunday, 1 May 2016

FAKE WESTEROS INTERVIEWS: DAENERYS TARGARYEN





Continuing on with our #FakeWesteros interview series, we caught up with the biggest Dothraki Horde we've ever seen and after making them laugh with impressions of the folk across the Narrow Sea, our Ramsay Bolton impression is incredibly high pitched and hilarious. We narrowly avoided giving anyone a son and they allowed us a few moments with @danygonebad Titles, Titles, Titles, Endless titles...

How did you get involved with #FakeWesteros?
Blame NQC, she takes her clothes off and persuades us all in to all sorts of mischief.

Why did you pick your character?
I love Daenerys, I believe she is one of the few that truly does care about other people, that and dragons of course.

What do you love the most about being your character on Twitter?
I love the interaction with my followers. I’m very lucky to have so many friends, that’s what this is all about. Even if they do tease me mercilessly.

Favourite character and episode?
Other than Dany – Jon and Hardhome.

How has the Twitter community reacted to your character?
Mostly people seem really friendly although as with everything, you always get the few hells bent on causing trouble. They get fed to the dragons.

Do you have any messages for the people who follow your character?
Yes, thank you all for being wonderful, and come talk to me, I don’t bite…I leave that to my babies.

How do you feel about the Season Six opening episode? And what do you predict for your favourite character this year?
This is flaming bra territory now the show has taken over the books and therefore it is always going to be slightly uneasy. However I enjoy the show in its own right, despite the deviations from the books. I just hope my boys come and rescue me soon because damn I need to sort my hair out.

Flown away and abandoned your kingdom, abandoned an injured Drogon and captured by a pretty huge Dothraki horde. Hows that working out for you? Ooh wonderful. I simply love being insulted and treated like a prisoner. Do these dudes seriously not know who I am!!!

Could you not have waited for Drogon to get better?
I’m a Targaryen, I’m not very good at waiting for anything Daario or Jorah? I say Daario…my writer is screaming at me because she loves Jorah.

How long does it really take to list your titles?
Two hours, forty two minutes and fifteen seconds… on a good day.

As we know as of the opening episode, you are bound for Dosh Khaleen. Is it a fun horse heart eating Summer Camp? Or a home for old crones? I’m afraid it might be both, I’m brushing up on my bingo and knitting just to be prepared.

Do you think you’ll survive or sacrifice yourself somehow?
I don’t think anybody is going to survive. Ser Pounce will be king when all this is done! Though my fate, I think I will sacrifice myself… hopefully to Jon’s sexiness 

Saturday, 30 April 2016

FAKE WESTEROS INTERVIEWS: CERSEI LANNISTER



While the massive and intimidating Robert Strong stood over us, we grabbed a few moments with #FakeWesteros reigning Queen, Queen_Cersei before running away in terror.

How did you get involved with #FakeWesteros?
I was very lucky to meet people online who had a great passion for the series/books.

Why did you pick your character?
I picked Cersei because I hated her, and I didn't want to be crushed when she died. Over time, I have learned to love and appreciate her madness. I feel like she is a small part of me.

What do you love the most about being your character on Twitter?
I love the variety of people who have noticed the chaos of life, who aren't afraid to embrace power and love and ugliness and raw female energy (even if it is dangerous sometimes). Fantasy allows us all to visit otherwise 'wrong' things in a safe, non-homicidal way.

Favourite character and episode?
Cersei/Hardhome.

How has the Twitter community reacted to your character?
They accept Cersei's madness and rage. I think we all see our own feelings reflected in her.

Do you have any messages for the people who follow your character?
They accept Cersei's madness and rage. I think we all see our own feelings reflected in her.

How do you feel about the Season Six opening episode?
Not enough!

And what do you predict for your favourite character this year?
Cersei will get her vengeance. And the price will be VERY high.

The High Sparrow surprised you with a nude walk through the streets for atonement. How was that?
I would do anything to get back to my son. The holy assholes will pay. Robert Strong:

How do you control Robert Strong? I’m just picturing him literally SMASHING through everything.
Whether he is controllable remains to be seen.

Two children down and one to go. Do you actually believe in the prophecy or not?
Yes, I believe, but that doesn't mean I won't go down without a fight.

Is Jaime coming in extremely HANDY right now?
He means well, but he has never had the RAGE. Until now.

Do you plan on maiming Septa Unella, Lancel, the High Sparrow? Everyone else?
Yes. 110% YES. There will be pain.

Who do you think will survive or sacrifice themselves somehow?

I think Jaime and I will survive. Somehow. Tyrion will sacrifice himself for some ugly whore.