The Best of Ask FM: Cersei Edition

A Queen has had an ask fm account for a while now. Look here for the best of them. 

Ask more questions here: http://ask.fm/NiceQueenCersei

 

where are you from and whats ur name
I'm Cersei Lannister and i'm the Queen of Westeros. Also hottest Queen ever.

What are you wearing right now?
Nothing. Everyone is staring. I'm loving it. 

You have lovely hair, what's your secret?
Expert slaves. And L'oreal.

What do you do to entertain yourself in Westeros?
I drink lots of wine and torment peasants.

What was your first paying job?
Being Robert's Baratheon's wife. Boy, did i pay for that...

What was the last thing you bought?
Someones silence. And a tiny piece of flowery material for Margaery to use as a wedding gown.

What have been the most important decisions in your life?

Not to kill anyone this year. I've really wanted to but... Margaery Tyrell's distracting cleavage got in the way.

If someone made a statue of you, what position would you choose?
Sitting on the Iron Throne. Holding a bottle of wine like a sword.

Margaery or Daenerys? Number one pick for ravishing?

Just one? Tough decision. I know Margaery would like it but Daenerys knows what a woman wants. So, its the Khaleesi for me.

On a scale of one to ten how much do you like incest?
Jaime is an eleven.

Is there gonna be GoT spin off ?

I'm sure everyone would love to see a situational comedy where me and Margaery attempt to rule over Westeros and try to kill each other every week.

Who would you prefer to eat from Game Of Thrones in an apocalypse type scenario?

Well... Sansa seems the cleanest. Both morally and physically. She'd be my first choice. My only choice.

Why is your dad such a buzzkill? (I mean really. I hear he doesn't let you play with wildfire? The dick!)

He did let me. Once. There's a reason why Kings Landing's Godswood is just a stump now.

And who are you, that I should bow so low?

And who are you, the proud lord said,
that I must bow so low?
Only a cat of a different coat,
that's all the truth I know.
In a coat of gold or a coat of red,
a lion still has claws,
And mine are long and sharp, my lord,
as long and sharp as yours.
And so he spoke, and so he spoke,
that lord of Castamere,
But now the rains weep o'er his hall,
with no one there to hear.
Yes now the rains weep o'er his hall,
and not a soul to hear.

If the lemons ran out, what would you make cake out of???
People.

You've won the Sexiest Queen competition several times now. Do you have any secrets, besides having most of the other contestants executed?
Now, now, they fell down wells of their own accord. The fact that I was in the area every time it happened was just a coincidence.

Why is the rum gone?
We used it to make wildfire. A few of Stannis's sailors drank it. There was an explosion. In short... We won.

I do enjoy good...fan made literature involving your highness and the Khaleesi. Do you enjoy reading things of such nature about yourself?
It helps me to prepare for her. By prepare I mean... *Smirks*

 

What could you do as a child that you can't do now?
Dress as Jaime for the day. Apparently it's frowned upon...

What is the purpose of life?
To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women. There's also wine and lemon cakes to be enjoyed too.

You're more likely to see me and Margaery in bed together. You're more likely to see me and Margaery in bed together. You're more likely to see me and Margaery in bed together. OH MY GOD I FEEL YOU
Now, Margaery, what did i say about slipping into bed with me? People will notice and start shipping us.

Now with the existence of lord of light, we might see every character rises from their graves, and that's the big twist, but he can't bring lannisters cuz the lion is heartless
Tyrion isn't heartless. Jaime certainly isn't. Me... *takes out your heart with a rusty knife and throws it out the window*

I'd rather to fuck a dragon then your grace, yours are used by Jaime *disgusting*
But i hear dragons have standards. They may not even eat you.

Would you ever dance with a hairy bear?
i once made out with a hairy stag. So...maybe.

Who would win in a fight, you, Daenerys, Margaery or Ygritte?
I would use every trick under the sun but Margaery is just a hair puller and Daenerys would use Dracarys in order to take us by surprise and pin us to win the fight. Ygritte would simply watch and give us marks out of ten. Wildings are clever people

How does the council not notice you answering all of these random questions? Aren't they curious?
With Father now as Hand of the King I'm to just sit there and be silent. Bugger that.

Do you REALLY care for your subjects? Or are you being a typical Lannister and plotting behind our backs to slaughter us all ?
I care. Like a Bear. With a Maiden Fair.

Can't we just be ruled by a royal couple consisting of you and Daenerys? Wine and lemon cakes for loyal, dragon fire for the disloyal. Naked parties for all!
I long for the day when it happens.

Do you believe that playing is more important than winning?
When you play the game of thrones you win or you die. There is no middle ground.

What do you think will happen to Cersei when Daenerys and her dragons come?
Cersei will bend the knee to Daenerys. In more ways then one.

Cersei will bend to Daenerys in more ways than one? You mean blowjob?
Must you make everything sound so crude? *laughs*

After you finally overthrow Margaery, will you keep her as a love slave?
But she bends the knee so easily. Why would I need her as a slave?

If you were a superhero, what would your name and powers be?
I'd be called the Ravisher. My powers would be pretty self explanatory.

If Tyrion was the beautiful child and you and Ser Jaime were the dworfs, what would you do in order to get attention?
Tumble. With each other.

How much fun can you have with jaime's new stub ;)

Stump? Quite a bit. I've been doing yoga.

 

"Don't you wish your dresses were hot like mine, don't you wish you were young like me, don't cha?" - The Highgarden Dolls
Don't be a troll Margaery.

Anhhhhhhh look!
The last time I did that Robert got me pregnant. I'm not falling for it ever again.