Summary/Review: Screwing With Theon

Game of Thrones

Season 3

Dark Wings, Dark Words

Summary:

Bran runs. No wait...

Three eyed raven

Jon Snow. Robb Stark?

Ned's voice?

Brans dream ends?

Hodor.

Nice.

Direwolves.

Osha doesn't trust black magic.

Or anyone else.

Talisa is speaking.

Robb is brooding.

Talisa and Robb are kissing.

Roose looks disgusted.

Cat gets a devastating blow.

The first of many I bet.

Theon looks a little cross.

I'm sorry. Theon is on a cross.

Jaime and Brienne are enjoying a lovely walking holiday back to Kings Landing.

Jaime is marking trees along the way.

Apparently Renly skipped down the corridors.

I'd never have guessed.

A throne of cocks?

Oh Jaime. Thats why I love you.

Meanwhile... Joffrey is being fitted for new clothes.

Cersei takes the time to insult Margaery. Repeatedly.

Shirtless Joff?

Margaery dresses like a harlot. Thank you Cersei.

Joffrey is turning on his Mother.

Not in that way.

Sansa is getting dressed by Shae.

Shae is against Littlefinger. In every sense.

Pretty Ser Loras has appeared.

Sansa is going to the gardens.

Sansa is fangirling over Loras.

He remembers nothing.

Distracting cleavage is back.

Say what you will Margaery knows how to use those charms.

Olenna Tyrell. Mastermind of Westeros.

Yes, lemon cakes are the way to Sansa's heart.

No. Asking Sansa to tell the truth will never end well.

Told you.

No Sansa. Stop.

Oh too late.

Speak freely?

Sansa will never shut up ever again.

Meanwhile... Robb is wandering the woods.

With his army.

Karstark hates Talisa.

Like everyone else.

Cat is doing some arts and crafts.

Talisa is interrupting. Go away.

So... Cat doesn't love Jon Snow.

I don't see why she should punish herself for that. He's not her son.

Why is Cat telling Talisa this?

…

Meanwhile... Jon Snow

Mance is sharing a little wilding history.

Close your mouth Jon Snow.

Have you never met a Warg?

Meanwhile... The Nights Watch are bullying Sam.

And now they have to look after him. Twist of fate much?

Bran is in danger.

Osha has abandoned him and a strange boy has appeared. And his sister.

Meera and Jojen Reed.

Are searching for Bran?

Arya, Gendry and Hot Pie are enjoying a lovely nature walk.

Thoros of Myr and the Brotherhood without Banners are a lovely band.

Tyrion and Shae.

Somehow Ros's name comes up. I'm starting to think she's getting a spinoff.

Tyrion and Shae are having a domestic?

Oh my...Its over.

Meanwhile...Joffrey has summoned Margaery to his bedchamber?

Is it too much to hope that Joffrey has the urges of a normal boy?

Oh he's making her talk about her marriage to Renly.

And their bedroom habits.

Joffrey hates perversions?

Contradiction anyone?

Margaery manipulates Joffrey.

And strokes his crossbow.

Margaery makes crossbows sexual.

And killing sexual.

Theon is getting screwed.

Literally.

Theon hates the Starks.

And gets screwed. Again.

My, what a helpful boy.

But Theon is left crossed.

Meanwhile... Rickon is frolicking.

Jojen is talking about warging.

Osha hates everyone.

Meera loves everyone. I see a fight happening sooner or later.

Jojen sees everything.

Thats going to be awkward.

Arya is having dinner with the Brotherhood.

They've just brought another guest.

Its the Hound.

And he knows Arya.

Jaime and Brienne discuss river crossing.

Then sword fighting.

Jaime gives Brienne a lesson in sword fighting.

Naturally Brienne wins.

Before men of House Bolton find them.

I fear there will be body parts lost.

Review:
I liked this episode. I liked it a lot.  The Jaime and Brienne scenes were a fantastic highlight but everything just really worked for me. Its going to be interesting to see it all when it comes together.