Cersei glanced curiously at the book Sansa put on the table in front of her. She wondered why it had been so important for the girl to bring it with her to breakfast.
Sansa made an effort to take a little of each meal on the table but she was not interested in eating. The moment she had arrived the Queen's eyes had been upon her, examining her closely and it had taken all of her effort to hide her blushes.
Cersei's sudden efforts to be kind to her after all that had happened were confusing. Sansa was suddenly seeing the evil woman who had robbed her of her Father and her family in a new, rather appealing light.
''What are you reading?'' Cersei asked then as Sansa finally built up the courage to look back at her.
For a moment Sansa was confused and then she remembered the book on the table beside her.
This was her diary.
It contained her inner most thoughts, her secrets and...
Her 'special' dreams about the Queen that were the cause of her blushes.
'Nothing your Grace. Just a diary.' Sansa explained stumbling over the words a little as she spoke.
''A diary? Let me see it.'' The queen asked holding her hand out expectantly, well used to being obeyed.
Sansa hesitated but she knew she had no choice and with trembling hands handed over the diary.
Cersei opened it immediately and began to read right from the beginning.
Sansa felt herself grow pale with the realisation that the Queen would see her 'special' dreams.
Would she be punished for such...thoughts?
Eventually, the Queen finished the diary and looked up at Sansa.
Her expression was unreadable which frightened the girl even more.
Cersei, diary in hand, got up out of her chair and went to Sansa's side.
As the Queen looked down at her the girl felt her fingers dig into the wood of the chair in which she was sitting.
She wanted to run.
But her body wouldn't move.
If the Queen struck her there was nothing she could do.
No one she could turn to.
So, she closed her eyes and anticipated the blow.
It never came.
When Sansa finally had enough courage to open her eyes again Cersei was kneeling beside her and the diary was back on the table.
''You shouldn't fear me so much. People will talk.'' The Queen said then clearly amused by her discomfort.
''People always talk of you...Your Grace.'' The girl explained feeling the colour in her face rising and turned her face away.
''What do they say about me Sansa?'' Cersei smiled and put a hand to the girls face to turn her back to look at her.
''They say that you...Ravish young maidens for breakfast and punish them severely when they...Fail to please you in return.'' For the first time Sansa gazed directly at the woman before her and easily found the words she needed to say.
''Are we not at breakfast? And you are neither ravished nor punished?'' The Queen asks suppressing a smile. 'Perhaps this should put those false rumours to bed.'
Sansa nods. Says nothing more. But doesn't take her eyes from Cersei's.
The Queen looks to the diary and back again.
''Those dreams you write of merely happen because you have flowered and you should not be ashamed of them. Such things are natural of someone your age.'' Cersei explains more then unexpectedly kind. She was speaking from memory.
Sansa's breath catches in her throat. Her next words tumble out so suddenly that they shock her to the core.
''What if I want them to happen your Grace?''
The Queen's eyes widen at that and for once she is the one lost for words.
Cersei was right, Sansa no longer felt any shame once she'd said it out loud. Indeed, it was as if a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She felt joy again, hope and most of all...Free.
The Queen finally found her voice. ''Little Dove, you are a woman now but only just. What you ask... The act itself... Will hurt.''
The girl looked at her hopefully. ''But then...It will get better?''
''Well, you...You must be well prepared and ready to be...''
''I'm ready now.'' Sansa interrupted cutting Cersei's words off and claiming the Queen's lips in a kiss.
Cersei responds and then stops, gently pushing the girl away as she suddenly got up and went back to her own chair..
''Did I displease your Grace?'' Sansa asked, her disappointment undisguised as Queen picked up her wine and began to drink.
Cersei sighed heavily. Said nothing. Her previous words to Sansa now echoing in her mind.
The more people you love the weaker you are...
Before she knew what was happening an emboldened Sansa goes to Cersei's side and kneels before her chair.
''Your Grace...If I have displeased you then please forgive me.''
Cersei suddenly stands lifting the girl to her feet so they now stood face to face.
''You should leave me now.'' The Queen says gently.
''But...I...''Was all an on the verge of tears Sansa could say before she turned and left the room.
Cersei thought for a moment and then headed for the open door. Sansa was still outside in the corridor, openly crying.
''Sansa. Come to me tonight.'' She whispered moving to stand just behind the girl.
''Yes, your Grace.'' The girl answered, her voice barely a whisper.
Cersei quickly retreated back into her room and closed the door behind her. She did not see Sansa wipe her tears away and smile.
''Soon...'' The girl said to herself as she walked away clutching the knife in her hand. ''It would be soon...''
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